"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."
Steve Maraboli
This is a very good quote....I love it mainly because well I live it. A lot of people hold onto the past and can't let go and it destroys them. Mistakes are the number one thing that I think ruins a lot in peoples relationships. I've made a horrible mistake in the past and that's exactly where it should be is in the past. Forgiveness is acceptance and acceptance is letting it go. You have to, and it's hard, it's really hard. Those situations that happened in a matter of hours totaled up worth losing a love that could last a lifetime. Years of happiness are so much better then the hours you spend fighting or being angry. Add up all the times you are happy or doing okay verses all the times you are sad or angry. I did and I know my love for him is worth all the mistakes he makes. Im having a real hard time letting the ex thing go and I really need his help more then I've needed on anything else with him. I need to let it go but I can't until he changes the way he is with her. Rules and changing your way sucks and it's uncomfortable but it's good and it works. I know my love for Craig was worth all the uncomfortableness in the world. I changed how I made money, my hair, my lifestyle, my parenting, my attitude, I changed a lot and all I ask if for him to change the way he is with her and I hit a brick wall Everytime. No one can restart a new status of a positive relationship until both are willing to let go of the last one. Life doesn't work like that and lying to yourself hurts the ones around you. Lying to yourself as in, that it can work when the other still wants more. It can't. Sometimes things need to settle down a lot more then they are too re-evaluated everything and in this case 18 years of knowing only one way, your going to need to wait maybe even 6 months or a year for things to settle and to be able to actually have a heathy positive friendship. I need things to be better also but I'm not asking him to not go there or not talk to her I'm only asking for him to not be there at night time and to not have lengthy talks about their relationship like there trying to work things out. I feel like I'm a distraction or a tool to make the other want more. I want to know that I'm the one that he wants to keep happy over her and to please over her and to be there for me over her and then if she needs him out to be on OUR terms on what we decided and when. And not in a rude way because I'm a very reasonable human bean. I understand all of this way more then I probably was suppose to. I consider it a curse because I know exactly how to brain and actions and hear and desire and everything are supposed to go to make a perfect life. But yet I have the hardest time following it because I see all the kinks in everyone else's actions and words. I just want to fix everyone and I can't. I know how to change this for the better but no one cares to listen and to try. And that's fine because I don't put off the best example either. I have a difficult time following my own advice and I wish I didn't. It's like a sin to me to give someone the wrong advice on life and love and all of everything in-between. And I would never give someone the wrong advice when someone else's kids are involved. I may not be the best parent but I don't ever want to be the reason someone else's children are screwed up. I love kids and understand the development behind all that also. I wish I would of done something with that knowledge but oh well. Anyways any advice I'd give him wouldn't hurt him or anyone else in the long run. It would make everything come together and yes there would be pain in the process at points most likely but at the same time things would end up a lot better. But that's if everyone really wants the same end game. Idk. I hope he wants to stay happy with me forever. I'm in love with him to the fullest.
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