A little something about changing. Which really isn't little at all, is it? Its huge its reality.
There is nothing permanent except change
-HeraClitus
This quote made me have so much hope for my future. I'm constantly worried about the changes I made reverting back to how they were. Coming along this quote was reinsurance that it's not. My change will be permanent and I will be the best person I can be for the love of my life. I won't disappoint him nor my children anymore. All of them deserve to have me in their lives and I won't continue to take that away from them. My life has not been easy but do us addicts every really consider how hard it is for our kids and family. I as an addict was selfish and never thought about my kids or my lover and even before drugs I didn't put my kids first. I have been apologizing ever since.
6-11-22
It is really hard to change and easier to just jump right back to the way you were before. Its comfortable its what you are used to. I honestly struggle with my changes everyday. I want to revert back to the way I was before simply because in that state of mind I don't feel pain. I'm not happy though. People get hurt and I always end up alone. So, I keep trying and pushing to be the best I can be for myself. Change is hard but its worth it. There is another saying that i learned in prison, actually a couple.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
Your not changing unless your uncomfortable. - Not sure how this one goes but that is what it comes down to.
I hate change because its like running a mile longer then you can handle but once you finish its the best feeling. So go ahead try it out for a change. Ha! Ha! Play on words. Love it!
Anyways, I've changed for the better. I may have done it for someone else but in the end I did it for me. Its been the best decision I have ever made and I will never regret it. Whether I stick with the person in the end or not, at least I came out a better person because of it. I can only hope so anyways.
Do me a favor and ask yourself this, What's one thing I can change today to make ME a better person tomorrow?
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