Nothing is ever real, actually it's a little more real then I would like it to be!
I don't understand it. Happiness, cars, people, my life nothing can ever go right. A car I didn't think would break down broke down, 2 weeks out in a beautiful town and my bank account got drained by the person that stole my identity, I get a text from someone saying I put a wrench in their relationship when I thought I was that person's person and that lasted for a week. That's why I take so long to open up my heart. Like I said in my last post though you learn lessons from everything and I guess it's my turn to stop crying and try to pull something positive out of this so I'm going to go back to work and try to think of the positive lessons out of this. I'll get back on here and let you know what they are later. Hopefully I can come up with something good and not let you down.
And to that women that will probably never read this, I'm truly sorry that he hurt you. I wish I could take all your pain away. I called her and apologized for what it's worth. I had to. I couldn't just ignore it.
So as for the lesson with my van. I got my van for free. It may have broke down on me but I got to see that there are nice people still out there. I would do that for someone time and time again if i had the chance to because of how much I have had to struggle my whole life. I didn't think anything like that could ever happen to me. I was so happy, so relieved and felt like I was on top of the world. I felt like that up until today. So that one person did that much for me. That is a lesson well learned I believe. I hate so much that I feel like I let him down by it breaking down but I don't think I could of done anything different to change it. I noticed it having a difficult time going up hills on the way out here and i believe that, that is what hurt the van as bad as it did.
As for my bank account, I have no positive for that just yet because I'm struggling to feed my daughter in a town that I don't know and that is so outdated that I can't even do my normal side hussle in because it is so outdated and old. I'm at a loss for that one I'm sorry. Maybe for some reason I really needed to be broke and struggle again so that I didn't lose site of what it felt like.
I have court tomorrow and for a very old, years old reckless driving ticket. They are asking for 7 day Electronic home confinement and I am terrified. I will lose my job and everything. Now I don't even have a way to get there or to fix the van.
All I know is everything happens for a reason and whatever this reason may be, I know that it was something obviously very important. Maybe to show me something very important or someone important. I have absolutely no idea. All I know is I'm trusting the process and working my ass off. I love you life. LOVE ME BACK!!!
I added this picture because it spoke to me awhile back. It has so much meaning and so much power. It sat in that parking lot in Vancouver, WA for months because of COVID so I name this photo Covid 19. I feel like it goes with this post a lot. You can either let traumatic events destroy you or you can get up and do something about it. I'm saying that with all the love I have because I let trauma manage my life for years and years. I finally did something about it but before I did I hurt a lot of people along the way. People I didn't even know I was affecting. Take control of your life and the way you live and do it in the most powerful way ever, with your head held high and with no shame.
You can have love for thousands of people but only one person can hold your heart
I get what ur saying ,have u loved some one that also had parts of them that u didn't love ,perfect in every way ,but maybe not a good listener ,so I find urself talking to a family member or friend ,do u love that person less because they don't possess that listening quality do they now become not the "one" ,do u dismiss all the other loves u have found in them because there is a quality they lack,of coarse not ,I feel what u r describing is a perfect person ,if one holds out for that ,it could be a long loveless life ,the person that made u feel as if u were their person was that feeling…
You say it's possible to love two at the same time. It is possible to like qualities it two people at the same time but then it's not truly love because you do not truly love the whole person. When you find your person they have every quality in them that you have ever liked in anyone you have ever dreamed of having. It's like having your mom on her best day, your grandma's home, your grandpa in his garage, your dad when you get in a fight at school, your aunt when you lose your virginity, and your best friend for the rest of your life that you know youll grow old with. Then no one else in this…
Is it possible for one person to truly love two people each for their own individual,unique qualities .is there but one love per person ,doesn't it take a variety of attributes to make ones heart swell with love,desire,passion,intellect,laughter,empathy,compassion,lust ,sympathy,understanding,forgiveness,,I could go on and on listing the ingredients ones heart longs for in love ,can all that really be found in one love?? A person has many friends some make u laugh others make u feel good about urself, others may make u feel secure u keep these people close to u each for their own unique quality ,granted some friends become jelouis of other ,what I'm getting at is u don't call Roto rooter to bake u a cake and…