There are so many people that get away with it because people don't speak up and then there are people that go away for it when they don't deserve to because some women like to cry wolf. What really though is considered rape to you and how do you know that your even doing it if the women doesn't tell you she doesn't want it? Well that was my problem for years. And this is the beginning of my story. My mom worked out of town and my dad was a truck driver and I was never supervised. My sister was always doing her own thing but bringing around her age grouped friends around me. I wanted attention and I wanted it from anyone I could get it from but to be honest I never wanted it to go that far EVER. Now there are times I said no and I mean come on you could tell I didn't want it especially because your 10 years older then I am and used to females, that when they want you, rip their clothes off. I wasn't like that. I was flirty. Happy. Bubbly. But not for long. I put myself in a lot of bad situations to where I lost a huge part of who I was really quick. I lost my virginity at 13 to a guy smoking meth and I didn't even know what it was but I didn't ask. I just allowed it. I was used and abused and thrown around like it was going out of style and I allowed all of it because I thought I was loved. Not one man stuck around, not one man married me, not one man asked me if I was okay and not one asked me if it was okay either. My sister was always running away and got the attention when my parents were home. I was absolutely non existent and a shadow to them. They had no need to worry about me. I was a good kid. That turned sour really quick. I was tired of being left out, feeling alone and abandoned. So I created a different world outside of mine. I escalated so fast and just now at 30 years old I decided to slow down. I don't have that need to have someone's attention anymore. I don't want it. Real is better then fake any day in my book. It's so hard now days to tell real from fake if you don't know what your looking for. If you need to do something for someone for them to be happy or if you can't sit down and have a real conversation and have the person actually be looking at you and knowing that they truly care about the person that you are, then it's not worth your time. You shouldn't have to give up your body, money, or expressing yourself at any point in time. If they are more focused on another person constantly and not focusing on you then don't waste your time. Find someone that truly loves you for the amazing person that you are because there are billions and billions of people in this world. Take your time, be outgoing, don't trust anyone with something you can't afford to lose on the inside of you and you'll find the right person. It could be today or tomorrow or next year but you will find them. It's also okay to be alone. Having a tight circle of real friends and living a full filling life is completely possible without a significant other. Don't hesitate to tell someone no because your afraid they won't like the answer or take it from you anyways like I was always scared of. You don't need them to like you if they can't respect your choices concerning your own body or anything that has to do with your life for that matter. Also know though, you have no control over what others say or do so don't let it get to you and make things worse. They talk mad game but are no different then any one of us. Don't be scared. I'm here. Your always welcome, more then welcome to contact me or family. Or anyone if your even feeling slightly in danger. Just don't ever cry wolf it's not fair or right to anyone or their families involved. I know that wasn't that much detail but that's all I could say for right now. Thank you for reading this. I hope it can help at least one person out there make some rough decisions that I wish someone would of informed me in on years ago.
Your worth it!!!?
Don't give up!!!!!
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